Saturday, August 29, 2009
ITS OFFICALLY OVER WIF ME AND TIS WORLD... ... NO 1 RMBS ME FRM MIE LAZ TYM CLASS I DUN EVEN NOE IF I ACTUALLY IS IN THEIR HARTS OR ONCE THEIR FWENS BUT I DUN TINK SO... FOOLISH ME WHY M I SO NAIVE TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE TAT THEY WUD ACTUALLY RMB WHEN THEY DUN EVEN CARE ABT ME AT ALL... mayb i should'nt be in tis world at all no 1 actually treats me lyk a fwen...
all i wanted frm young is actually to hav sum 1 to care abt me, dote on me and juz be a caring fren izit tat much???
i dun even noe why tis muz happen to me mayb i should nt even come to tis world at all... dun even noe y i chose to come to tis world
i tried mie best for evrytthing juz to prove to mie own brother, my parents and mie classmates tat im nt a copy cat, nt a slacker, nt a failure and nt a show-off(er)... It was all to prove that it was all achieved on mie own strengths and mie weaknesses all i wanted was sum1 to rmb me juz rmb me izit tat hard to ask for?
i oso dun even noe why m i so abusive...
HU can tell me wads mie problem? wads mie mistake
wads mie fault???
i kip asking ppl arnd me if they h8 me they kip saying no no no and no i dun even noe why they muz lie to me i wun even hit dhem cuz i said juz sae the truth to me..
izit realli tat hard to sae the truth to me sum1 whom u all h8? if u wan to gt back at me try it, for i dun really care nw since no 1 really cares abt me. 6B'08 was mie ex class nw the blog dun even hav mie link wad a joke they rmb the others but they dun even rmb abt me. i realli look forward to teacher's day but on the other hand i dread it bcuz by the tym they see mi, i dun tink they rmb me alr.... The reason why i had became emo is due to the ppl arnd me if onli evrything wud be betta...
Mayb if im nt alive or nvr came to tis world b4 everything wud be betta for them... Mayb if i die no1 will come to mie "funeral" no 1 will cry for mi i guess, no1 except for myself... Crying and pitying myself saying: "Serene, you should not have come to tis world at all, nobody's crying but you only so what's the point of crying when no1 even cares about you."
i show u hw izit caused by the ppl arnd me:
- i treat mie bro gud he evrytym kpkb at me he lost his things i blanjah him things he juz sae 1 thank-you jie when he dun even noe hw i had pampered him nw i juz shout at him he kpkb liao
- i go hospital fetch my father, he alr go home making mi to w8 at the canteen for lyk 1h den he call and sae he alr at hm. bcuz of tat i shout into the phone and throw it onto the chair, it was lyk i made a fool out of myself.
- 6B de classmates i dun tink tat none of them even rmbs me, none of them even tok abt me do u noe hw much it hurts for ur own P6 classmates to 4gt eu??
- im being rejected by evry1 in mie life including mie mother she always show favourtism to my bro and she say she nvr. im being rejected by evry1 in mie life , mie class , mie cca, mie family, mie aunts and uncles.... i dun even noe why they muz treat mi tis way.
I did tried to be frenly but evry1 arnd me kips critisizing mi kip giving mi sarcastic remarks IT REALLY HURTS U NOE? u try lar u kip evry thing in ur hart u cant let it out even if u let it out u wun feel betta so will u be emo? i tried evryways to stop being emo but no1 really hlped me except for giving mi sarcastic remarks.. i did giv evrything mi 101% but prob is the moment i lost interest in smth i cant gain it back... i cant tahan mie lit but miss wong oni call me to buck up on mie lit BUT HOW???? when u dun even lyk the subject. i realli miss the tyms whn i was juz 1-6 yrs old evrything seems so perfect but evrything chnged when i was P1 mie parents chnged mie brother chnged mie frens chnged evry1 arnd me has chnged
frm young i was alr critisized by mie skin but ITs nt even contagious but why muz evry1 avoid me m i tat detestable? izit really hard to accept me as your fren? frm young i oso can rmb no1 actually rmbs my bdae. mie parents oso nid me to remind them den they sae happy bdae to me
IT HURTS it realli hurts . sumtyms i wished tat i could juz drop dead at there den im gone alr mayb life wud realli be betta without me maybe i should not have come into tis world at all maybe i should nt be alive at all mayb it wud be betta if i was dead.
If u wan try being me im alr on the the verge of tears when writing tis cuz tis is oso smth tat i had bottled up for abt vry long alr it really hurts to be always rejected but i guesss u wun even noe hw it feels lyk.... but even if u knew it oso wun be the same at all cuz mie life is totally different frm sum1's life which is so rich blah blah and blah blah...
i guess after tis post i shud maybe make tis whole blog private all to myself as mie own dairy since im actually insignificant, no1 will notice tis chng at all...
i guess tis is the last farewell for those hu wanted to read mie blog...
and dun even tink abt asking mi at skool to let u read cuz it was EU hu made me tis way and why shud i obey u?
;
12:47 PM
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